Sisterly Advice

May I give you some sisterly advice?

My heart hurts for girls about my age. We get so many mixed messages; figuring out early adulthood is much harder than anyone ever told us it would be. Navigating the relationships we’re forming during this chapter can be touchy, even perilous. I hurt for my brothers, too–but I don’t share all of their experiences. Some things about being female are unique to us–whether these elements are societally driven or not, they exist, and they’re challenging.

I wish I could look every girl I know in the eye and tell them this:

I thought I heard the voice of God. It wasn’t. No matter how much I wanted it to be, it wasn’t.

He told me over and over again that our relationship was heaven-blessed. That we were destined for each other. He was kind at first, charming and handsome. It was easy to believe him at first.

Never mind my parents’ misgivings. Never mind my friends’ warnings. Never mind my own nagging sense that something about our relationship was horribly, horribly wrong.

“Don’t listen to them, Emma,” he’d say. “Don’t listen. They can’t possibly understand. They don’t have what we have. They’re just being stumbling blocks. Don’t let them get to you.”

Never mind that I had no peace.

At that time in my life I believed that the man I married would fit certain criteria–the itemized list I’d heard repeated ad infinitum as I grew up. He fit every item on the list–or at least he seemed to. He played the role of the Ideal Husband. He became what I thought I should want. At least until he thought I wouldn’t leave.

But when someone tells you to lay down the talents and abilities God gave you just to make him happy; when someone tells you to tune out that inner voice that keeps you walking in the light; when someone downplays your achievements and belittles your dreams; when someone uses the words of God to tell you lies–

Run.

Once he gets close enough, there’s no telling what damage he will do.

No man’s voice is the voice of God. A man may try to play God. He may try to convince you that he is the god of your corner of the universe.

He is not God.

Don’t let him try.

No one person can fulfill you. That is too tall an order for any human being. No one may demand superhuman strength from you while simultaneously demanding you put up with his flaws. Anyone who asks you to compromise your principles or bruises your conscience is not the partner you should choose for the rest of your life’s journey.

If you tell a boy that your relationship with Christ comes first, and he still shoulders his way between you and your Redeemer–

Run.

Run to the Rock that is higher than you. Listen to the still, small voice of the One who loved you enough to give up everything for your eternal joy.

Darling girl, walking the road of life with God alone is far better than braving that journey with the wrong person. You may fear being alone, but believe me when I say there are far more fearful choices.

Don’t be afraid to say no. Don’t be afraid to walk away.

That is my sisterly advice to you.

Given in love,

E.A.S.

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7 comments

  1. Jessy with a Pen · June 1, 2016

    Agreed. I went through this and I can attest that being with no one is better than being with the wrong one.

    God isn’t what someone else wants you to do for their approval. He is compassion, forgiveness, and encouragement along with so many numerous, positive adjectives. He won’t reject you if you don’t follow every rule the person you love gives you. There was never a reason given by my ex for why he would say “If I was you, I would doubt if I was a Christian.” and there literally was NO reason for him to say that.

    I am a Christian. That doesn’t depend on my ex or on myself at this point. It depends on what God did for me and what He is doing in me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Tim · June 1, 2016

    “No one person can fulfill you.” That’s advice we can all use at some point (or points) in our lives.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Teacherlovesbooks · June 2, 2016

      I agree! That line was my favorite of the post–applicable to everyone. My second favorite is “No man’s voice is the voice of God.” I assume the writer means “no person’s voice”–another applicable truth to all readers.

      I teach American Literature, and when I teach The Scarlet Letter, I tell my students that I think Hester’s problem is that she loves Dimmesdale more than she loves God. There’s a great lesson here: we cannot replace God with any person–that is, in essence, idolatry–and a central tenet of all humanistic philosophies.

      Liked by 3 people

  3. luv2wrte · July 12, 2016

    Wow! So good and so true! 🙂

    Like

  4. MissGlam · February 7

    AMEN! Women need to know this and understand this, would love to have you share something on my blog Stylishly Inspired (where my mission is to build a women empowerment community). i want you to give women from all over some advice or share a past experience that has given you a valuable lesson. If you are interested please contact me on my contact page on my blog, would love to hear from you. God bless

    Liked by 1 person

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